ATTENTION ALL FEMALES

Extremely important advice and information for girlfriends, fiancées,
mothers, sisters, daughters, in fact women in general. To be communicated
prior to the World Cup in June/July this year.

1. From June 9th to July 9th 2006, you should read the sports section of
the newspaper so you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup.
That way you will be able to join in the conversations. Failure to do this
will put you in bad light. You may be totally ignored. DO NOT complain
about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times. There are no
exceptions. If you even glance at the remote control, you will lose it
(your eye that is!)

3. If you must pass in front of the TV during a game, crawl on the floor
without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV,
make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I
won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the
World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat. Do not expect me to listen to you,
open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell
from the second floor. It won't happen!

5. Keep at least two six-packs (yes, that makes 12) in the fridge at all
times, and plenty to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to
my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be
allowed to use the TV between midnight and 6am, unless they replay a good
game that I missed during the day.

6. Please please please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is
losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game" or "Don't worry, they'll
win next time". That will only make me angrier.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me
during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
half-time score is pleasing me. In addition. Please note I am saying "ONE"
game. Do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time
together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen
them or haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a ) I will not go,
b ) I will not go, and
c ) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on Sunday to watch a
game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "But you
have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we
can all watch?"
Please revisit rule #2 of this list.

12. And finally, please ditch expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup
is only every four years!" I am immune to these words, because after this
comes the European Cup Qualifiers, the Inter-Toto Cup, the Champions
League, the Uefa Cup, the SPL, The Premiership, La Liga, etc. etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.
MEN

LOL this is great just emailed it to my wife lets see if i get supper tonight

LOL, I have received the same version a couple of days ago, but in Dutch !

Do dot disturb during worldcup, an universal theme !

Babe World Cup

Try it, and see who wins for you!

Ukraine over Germany for me

http://www.the-onion-bag.com/100yards.php?restart=1

CZECH REPUBLIC my winner now!
Trinidad Tobago runner up.


Official Leader table
1 Heidi Klum GERMANY
2 Ana Beatriz Barros BRAZIL
3 Petra Nemcova CZECH REPUBLIC
4 Salma Hayek MEXICO
5 Elin Nordegren SWEDEN

ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO KILL ME?

If my wife reads the list of rules above I'll be banned from SESL for life!

Phil

2 weeks in to world cup, and the lady in my life is getting grumpy.

Oh well, we are half way thru it, so always a positive spin to put on it!

Milla Jovovich won it in a tight final with Heidi Klum.

GMcD

First night in weeks there was no world cup football on!

I had to hand over remote control and watch Gordon Ramsay's F word!
Not sure who swore the most thru this cookery show - me or Mr Ramsay!

Yeah last night was pretty harsh. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just went to the pub. But there's still no football on tonight, is it Friday yet?